I can't do this - Phan
by awesomesockesONESHOTS
Summary: PHAN ONESHOTS! Contains: Fluff, hurt/comfort, slight panic attack. Dan hasn't been sleeping properly due to stress. Phil try to convince him to come to bed, but Dan has a break-down. danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, Phan.


"_Prompt: Dan hasn't been sleeping properly due to stress, he is up late trying to edit a video, Phil finds Dan asleep at his keyboard and attempts to carry Dan to bed, Dan wakes up and says he isn't going to bed until the video is done, Phil frustrated at how silly Dan is being shouts at him that its stupid to overtire yourself over a video and to come to bed, Dan bursts into tears as he is tired/stressed and overlay emotional, Phil pulls him into a hug and carries him to bed where they cuddle_"

Someone asked for this^^ Of course. Here we go! (might have changed it a bit)

Phan oneshot!

**Contains:** Fluff, Hurt/comfort, slight panic attack.

**Phan status:** Together.

**Words: **2.196

**POV:** Phil

**I can't do this**

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**PHIL'S POV!**

"Are you coming to bed?" I asked. I poked my head into the lounge and gazed towards the couch. It was nearly 2 am and Dan was still sat by his computer.

"Just a minute. I need to finish this." He rubbed his eyes tiredly with the back of his hands but, no matter how many times I asked, he wouldn't come to bed.

"You can finish it tomorrow, Dan. Come on. You've been working on it all day. Take a break… for me?" I begged, leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed across my chest.

"No, Phil. I can't just finish it tomorrow. I'm already two days late with this," he snapped, looking up. "Go to bed. I'll be there at some point."

I sighed softly at the sight of his red, tired eyes. "Dan."

"Knock it off, Phil!" he snapped.

I gave up and shook my head before I turned around and walked into my bedroom.

I got into the bed and wrapped the duvet tightly around myself. I felt bad for just leaving him—he obviously needed some sleep—but I didn't want to argue with him. He was in control of his own life; he could do what he wanted.

I sighed hard and rolled over to lie on my back, staring at the ceiling above. This was the third day in a row that Dan hadn't slept properly. He was getting more and more petulant to be around because he was so tired all the time. It was getting really annoying. I had to be careful about what I said so that he wouldn't get angry with me if things didn't go his way.

"Enough of this," I muttered and pulled my covers off. I walked through the hall towards the lounge, slowly pushing the door open before I stepped in.

Dan's head was resting back on the sofa cushions, and he was passed out asleep. His mouth was slightly hanging open and his breathing was slow and steady.

I couldn't help but smile a little. I loved watching Dan sleep. It was like he was a whole different person. Not the tired, stressed Dan I got to experience a lot lately, but a peaceful worry-free Dan.

Being careful not waking him up, I tiptoed closer. His fingers were still resting on the keyboard. I looked at the screen; he had stopped in the middle of a sentence. As slowly as possible, I removed the computer from his lap and closed it. I really wanted him to come to bed instead, but I couldn't carry him and he would definitely wake up in the attempt. Being asleep on the couch was better than no sleep at all, so I threw a blanket on top of him and moved him around, making him a bit more comfortable.

I immediately regretted my actions when I saw him starting to move. I let go of his shoulders and prayed to God that he would fall back to sleep. But of course he didn't.

"Phil. What the fuck are you doing?" He said and looked confused from the blanket and to my face.

"Ehh, I was… you fell asleep and..." I stuttered and stepped backwards.

"What did I tell you?" He got up from the couch and grabbed the laptop in the coffee table and opened it back up. "I need to finish this," he slurred. He almost sounded drunk and I looked nervously at him. I couldn't stand seeing him like this.

"No," I said shortly, pulling the laptop out of his hands. "Bed. Now. Dan." I did my best to make my point as clear as possible. "No excuses!"

"You don't understand!" Dan yelled back. His expression was changing from angry to panicking. I watched him as his breathing gradually started to speed up. He threw his hands to his head and hid his face in his palms while his breaths turned to gasps and his arms began to shake a little.

First I stared at Dan, confused, but then quickly placed the laptop back down on the table and sat down beside him on the couch.

"Calm down. Shh, shh. I'm sorry…" I kept my voice low, being careful not to freak him out.

"I can't do this, Phil!" he yelled desperately into his hands. "I-I have to finish it!" He took a couple of deep breaths and kept hiding his face from me.

"No you don't..." I tried. "Relax." My fingers started trembling a little. His reaction made me truly nervous. It wasn't the first panic attack I had witnessed him have. It didn't happen often, but it was still scary and sad to watch.

"I can't!" Dan moved from the couch and got to stand beside it. I followed him with my eyes. I wanted to comfort him, but when he was this upset I couldn't. "You don't understand!" He turned to me and I saw his already red eyes had turned even redder as he started crying.

"Then make me understand." I tried my best to stay calm. He was really tired and frustrated—I didn't want to make it worse. I slowly rose from my position and stepped towards him. "Dan? Make me understand..." I whispered.

He just shook his head and walked backwards while he kept crying and gasping each breath. He almost looked like he might pass out due to the hyperventilation, so I followed him across the room.

"No! It's just..." He stopped completely and looked me in the eyes. I wrinkled my forehead slightly and stared at him, concerned, making sure he understood I was worried. Most of all, I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him close until he calmed down, but it had to be at his own pace. I knew I shouldn't pressure him to do something he maybe wasn't ready to.

The tears were just streaming down his cheeks, but before I got the chance to do anything, Dan walked back and threw his arms around me. His sudden movements took me by surprise and I froze for a second, but quickly followed his lead and placed my hands on his back. I sighed softly, rested my chin on his shoulder, and started rubbing his back gently, comforting him the best I could.

I felt Dan grab a hold of the back of my t-shirt before he started crying properly in my shoulder, making himself shake really violently. He must've been overwhelmed with all of the emotions and tiredness due to the stress and lack of sleep he had been through the last couple of days. Sometimes you just needed to cry it out, and Dan needed that right now.

"Dan..."

"I can't do this, Ph-Phil," he sobbed and clung harder onto my t-shirt.

"I'm not asking you to do anything," I whispered, squeezing him a little tighter. "Let's sit down instead." I gently pushed him away from my body and led him back to the sofa.

"Deep breaths. Everything is fine, okay?" I told him. He nodded unsteadily and closed his eyes. I pulled him into a hug and leaned back on the pillows. I could still feel his body shake a little in my arms.

We stayed in silence for a few minutes, just letting Dan calm down.

He rested his head down on my chest, letting me drag my fingers through his hair.

"I'm ready to listen if you want to talk," I whispered and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm useless..." he muttered, sniffing a couple of times.

I sighed before I spoke. "You're not useless, Dan. Don't say that." I kept my voice low; this shouldn't be an argument.

"The fans!" Dan breathed and let out a few sobs.

"Fuck the fans," I answered shortly, making Dan turn his head and look at me, surprised by my determined statement. His eyes were really red and puffy and he had dark circles around his eyes. He nearly looked more dead than alive at this point. "They can't control you like this. It's not healthy, Dan."

"It's the second time I'm late, Phil," he whined. He kind of reminded me of a little child when he behaved like this, but I understood. He must be exhausted by now.

"It's not worth it, Dan."

"They're the ones who pay the bills, Phil!. How is it not worth it?" He sniffed and looked desperately at me.

"Well there wouldn't be any fans if it wasn't for you, right? They can't tell you what to do. _This_ isn't worth it, okay?"

Dan nodded. He knew I was referencing the panic attack.

"Just relax. And your videos are going to be so much better if you work on them in daylight anyway."

"But they keep pressuring me. It's so stressful and it feels like they would leave me if I'm late and it makes me so stressed and..." I saw his eyes water up again.

"Let's talk about this tomorrow instead. I think you need sleep more than you need to finish that video." I gently brushed the tears away from his cheek.

He closed his eyes as I touched him and rested his head back down on my chest. "It only needs one or two hours of work and then it's done. Just go to bed, I'll come soon," he murmured into my shirt and started moveing.

"No. No more work. I'll help you tomorrow, okay? Now it's bedtime." Before he had the opportunity to protest, I moved him away from me and pulled him off of the couch.

Surprisingly, he followed me to the bedroom and lazily sat down on the bed.

"I feel sick," he muttered in a really low voice and rubbed his face.

"You're probably just exhausted," I said and took a step closer so I could place my hand on his forehead. He looked really pale, but there was no fever so he wasn't sick, just stressed. "Lay down," I commanded and crawled into the bed next to him.

I made sure his duvet was wrapped tightly around him before I got beneath my own.

"Now just try and forget about that stupid video and the fans for a moment," I said. I felt Dan move around beside me and before I got the chance to ask what he was doing he bumped into my chest, making me groan a little by the sudden weight on top of me.

"I hate my life," Dan breathed into my duvet. It was such a silly statement that I didn't even want to answer him.

I started moving my hand up and down his back in an attempt to get him to sleep.

"Phil?"

"Hmm?" My eyelids were too heavy to keep open, so I closed them while my hand worked automatically on his back.

"I don't think I can sleep," he slurred.

"Hmm why?" I asked, nearly half asleep.

"The video and..."

"If you mention that fucking video one more time, I'm going to punch you in the face. And maybe hard enough to knock you out so I don't have to listen to you and your problems."

"But…" Dan continued. I groaned loudly and stretched my hand towards my nightstand and turn my lamp on, making it possible to get a look at his face, although it was slightly blurred because I didn't have my glasses on.

I moved up on my elbows, making Dan lift his head away from me.

"No buts, okay? No more stress, no more fans, no more video. And most important, no more complaining! Now go to sleep, please…" I begged.

Dan kept staring at me. I couldn't quite figure his facial expression, so I leaned in to kiss him properly instead. Maybe that would take his mind of things.

Apparently, I took him by surprise because I felt him freeze against me. But he quickly relaxed and melted into the kiss, pressing his lips against mine.

I pulled back and rested my forehead on his. "Now shut up would you?" I asked. Dan looked down, closed his eyes, and nodded slowly against my head. "Thank you." I let out a breath of relief and gave him another quick kiss before I turned around to switch the light off.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and took a couple of deep breaths.

"It's fine. Nothing to be sorry about." I laid my head back down on my pillow and opened my arms, making it possible for Dan to rest on top of me again if that would make him feel better.

"Thank you," Dan mumbled. I gently started stroking his back again.

"No problem." I felt myself slowly float into sleep.

Dan nuzzled a little closer to my side and I squeezed him as tight as I could. "Goodnight, Phil."

I smiled into the dark. I had finally won and now we were both in bed, cuddling. "Goodnight, Dan."

"I love you so much." He gave my body a quick squeeze like I was some sort of teddy bear.

"Hmm, love you too..." I managed to murmur before I fell into a deep sleep.

**thend**

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